fitness, thoughts

Acro Flow and the fear of being a fraud

Others would’ve said my music was too loud but I don’t believe music can be too loud. I didn’t want to hear anything else except for the tones and melody of the song coming through my headphones; didn’t want my thoughts to be interrupted by other travellers plucking in the phone or opening a bag of crisps. All those insignificant noises seem so loud when I’m trying to think. I sighed as I pressed my finger on the upper left button on my phone but realised my headphones are on full volume already. I listened to my favourite October playlist although it’s November already and watched the trees disappear in the distance. Sometimes train rides make me feel like I was in one of those TV shows where the main character leans against the window while looking into the distance with a certain melancholy – post mental breakdown or something. When I rested my head against the window, I remembered a conversation which I had earlier that day. Old conversations always sneak back into my thoughts, repeating itself over and over again. It’s almost a burden; not being able to get rid of somebody else’s words – like they’re stuck in my head, so loud, driving me insane at times. This time however, it wasn’t a burden. I noticed, I had smiled the whole time I thought about the conversations happening that day.

I met so many interesting people at the “Acro Flow” Workshop with Matt Mulligan (Body Roots), connected with them even, so that I wouldn’t describe them as strangers anymore. I’ve heard it so often from different sources – that everyone will encounter people his kind at some point along his way, but I never believed it until now. When I heard somebody say he was at his happiest while dancing or practising the flow I felt understood. Those situations, practising moves, can mute my thoughts, stop old conversations from appearing – bring me peace. My passion about handstands seemed so normal when I saw a quarter of those workshop participants excessively practise their hand balancing skills in the breaks. Feeling instrumental music and every piano tone so intensively that I immediately want to start moving my body or close my eyes, didn’t seem weird to anybody at all. Maybe I’ve always been in the wrong places and that’s why I felt “weird”. I love visiting workshops, courses and events. It’s like my personal wardrobe to Narnia. New people show me doors and ways I never knew existed. It’s not always a door I wish to go through but it’s definitely worth opening.

Matts workshop and way of teaching was really interesting and nothing like other workshops I’ve visited. It was a great experience and showed me a door I will certainly keep opened to sneak through every now and then. Now, I won’t explain any of the moves I learnt or his philosophy but I want to share something he said which I will forever remember:

If you enjoy dancing – call yourself a dancer. You’re not a fraud just because you didn’t study dance. You’re not a fraud just because you think you’re not good enough. Who cares how it looks. Call yourself an acrobat if you do acrobatics. Don’t feel like a fraud just because you’re not a professional.

There is so much to learn or discover if we’re only willing to. Consciously trying to keep an open mind without judgement is my kind of way through life. Try it sometimes – visit a course you’re unsure about, do something you’ve not done before, you won’t regret it.

Location: Bristol, “The Island”
Organised by Acrobatic Adventures
Workshop held by Matt Mulligan (Instagram: body.roots)


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